Feb 8, 2015

Narcissism can be a good thing!

Society in general is conditioned to believe that narcissism is a negative thing, and in many cases it is certainly negative. It can be an underlying psychosis possessed by criminals who spend their time committing crimes with little to no regard for the victims they leave in their paths. It can also be the cause behind the selfish deeds of average people who may not break the law, but who have no qualms about hurting others emotionally. Examples of this could be the serial philanderer who uses women sexually with no care for their feelings, or the seemingly heartless parent who abandons their child with no second thought to pursue their own selfish goals without children. There are two sides to every coin, however, and not all narcissism is negative. In fact, narcissism can be a healthy and positive quality if utilized in a way that doesn't truly harm anybody.

Very few people realize the positive benefits of having a narcissistic personality, which could be attributed to the idea that modesty is a virtue, while vanity is a flaw. This largely comes from religious teachings -- in particular most creationist religions demand modesty, and therefore anything that isn't modest is judged and chastised. This is especially true in regards to women, who are expected to be chaste, modest, subdued and only vain enough to please their husbands. This keeps them prepped for lives of caring for those around them, while mostly ignoring their own needs and wants.

Healthy narcissism keeps us balanced. While there is definitely such a thing as negative and unhealthy narcissism as a behavioral disorder, it's also true that the absence of a healthy self-esteem is just as damaging to one's psyche. Robbing one's self of a healthy self-esteem doesn't stifle narcissistic urges. Instead, it stifles your own personal growth. This is why it's important to recognize and harness narcissism in a way that empowers you. Psychology Today affirms that narcissism doesn't have to mean "selfish," "unfeeling," or "callous."

Healthy narcissism can inspire success. Call it the law of attraction if you'd like, but people who think more highly of themselves -- and believe it -- tend to do better in business and in their careers than those who don't. It seems like common sense to realize that a low self-esteem and constantly negative or self-loathing personality do not necessarily inspire success. Narcissistic people are also usually more focused on their own goals to fall into a rut or cycle of failure, unlike people who are perpetually depressed or who are constantly downgrading themselves.

Narcissistic people know that you must love yourself first, before anyone or anything else. If you can't love yourself first, then how can you expect to have your shit together well enough to love anybody else? How can you be prepared to be loved? The failure to understand this may be why so many marriages end in divorce.




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